The Bougie Dating Coach Podcast

Red Flags and and Green Lights: How to Spot the Difference and Choose Alignment

Episode Summary

In this episode, we dive into the essential signs to watch for in dating—both the red flags that signal danger and the green lights that lead to healthy, fulfilling connections. Key Topics Discussed: Red Flags: How unhealed wounds and unclear boundaries can lead to tolerating behaviors that are inconsistent, disrespectful, or emotionally unavailable. Learn how to recognize these warning signs and avoid relationships that drain your peace. Green Lights: Why we often overlook positive traits like consistency, honesty, and respect, and how to reframe these as the foundation of meaningful connections. Discover how to embrace stability and stop questioning whether you deserve healthy love. Mindset Shifts: How identifying and honoring your needs helps you attract relationships that align with your values and bring peace into your life. Takeaway Message: Red flags teach you what to avoid, but green lights show you what you deserve. By trusting your intuition and focusing on relationships that align with your best self, you can build love rooted in respect, trust, and authenticity.

Episode Notes

Episode Title:

Red Flags and Green Lights in Dating: How to Spot the Difference and Choose Alignment

Episode Overview:

In this episode, we’re exploring the subtle yet powerful signals that guide our dating journeys. From recognizing the red flags that disrupt our peace to embracing the green lights we often overlook, this conversation will help you navigate dating with clarity, confidence, and intention.

Main Topics Covered:

1. Understanding Red Flags

• Definition: Behaviors or patterns that indicate misalignment, disrespect, or potential harm.
• Common Red Flags:
  • Inconsistency (words don’t match actions).
  • Disregard for boundaries.
  • Emotional unavailability or defensiveness.
  • Lack of accountability or dismissive behavior.
• Reflection:
  • Red flags often align with unresolved issues in ourselves.
  • Are you tolerating red flags because they feel familiar or because you’re avoiding loneliness?

2. Decoding Green Lights

• Definition: Traits and behaviors that reflect stability, kindness, and alignment.
• Common Green Lights:
  • Emotional availability and open communication.
  • Consistency in words and actions.
  • Respect for boundaries and values.
  • Encouragement and support for your growth.
• Why We Ignore Them:
  • They may feel “boring” compared to drama-filled connections.
  • Low self-worth can make us question whether we deserve such positive treatment.

3. Mindset Shifts for Dating with Clarity

• Embracing Your Desires: It’s okay to want stability and peace in your relationships.
• Self-Worth and Deserving Love: How opening your heart to yourself first helps you stop settling for less.
• Trusting Your Intuition: Your gut often spots red flags before your heart does – listen to it.

Key Takeaways:

• Red Flags: Acknowledge and act on them early – they signal what’s not aligned with your values and needs.
• Green Lights: Start celebrating them! Healthy relationships don’t have to be boring – they’re where true love grows.
• Focus on Alignment: Prioritize partners who reflect the love, respect, and peace you’ve cultivated within yourself.

Call to Action:

1. Reflect on the red flags and green lights you’ve encountered in your past relationships.
2. Ask yourself: What am I attracting based on my own internal positioning?
3. Share your thoughts or stories on social media and tag me @Coachstaceyb

Resources 

Access the e-book "The List: Getting to know you, while finding the one for you

https://www.colormetherapyllc.com/shop